Salman Khan’s Kick: Same old, same old

Yet another dhamakedar and masaledar Salman Khan-starrer blockbuster will come out in the cinema halls on Eid this year. Will it excite his fans enough to buy first day first show movie tickets? Will the film break the previous box-office records? We don’t know. We do know though, that Hindi filmdom’s favourite superstar’s forthcoming comes across repetitive, redundant and regressive!

In the last few years Salman Khan’s movie scripts seem like dish made from a tried and tested recipe, containing fixed ingredients, put down by a culinary doyen. But is it good enough for the new-age audience that thrives on Master chefs experimentation and innovation? Sadly, Kick is made-up of all that we have already seen SK do in the past. So here’s what we think SK should keep at bay so that his blockbuster isn’t a boring broth to sip.

Larger-than-life -hero

He is one-man army, does no wrong and thinks of the society-at-large, the basic parameters required in a larger-than-life-hero (LTLH), who rightly speaking was brought back from the grave (it was a popular genre back in the 70s and 80s) by Salman Khan. This concept returned with Wanted. Obviously the trying times that we live in and with the increasing no. of movies replicating reality – pleasant and unpleasant situations – on the big screen, films that showed a powerful man, a messiah of sorts, setting people free of their troubles (mostly social) and making them smile, was a like a tazza hawa ka jhonka. But one look at Kick and it seems Salman is still doing the stuff what he did best, once-upon-a-time. He makes funny faces, spouts witty lines, has a hidden personality and is a man on the undisclosed mission to save the world. Sounds far too familiar, no? So dear SK, why harp the same tune – Dabangg, Ready, Bodyguard, Ek Tha Tiger, Jai Ho? The Kick hero may openly reprimand when questioned his fixation to larger-than-life-hero model, for a viewer (strictly speaking myself and like-minded fans) the freshness is a turn-off. Maybe it’s time for a reality check, Salman Khan?

Dialoguebaazi

‘Mere bare mein itna mat sochna, dil mein aata hoon, samjh mein nahin’, is the one of the punchiest lines Salman Khan delivers in Kick. Powerful dialogues have been omnipresent in his movies since Maine Pyar Kiya days. Remember this one from his first film – Dosti ka ek aasool hai madam, no sorry, no thank you? It became a famous pick-up line for wannabe Romeos. When SK in his deadly demeanour spouts dialogues, it automatically makes such a damdaar impact, and an unforgettable one. Perhaps it’s the writer gene in SK (his father Salim Khan was the most popular screenwriter in the 70s) that guides him as to how, when and where to pause and stress. After the famous lines from Wanted, ‘Ek bar joh maine commitment kar di, uske baad toh main khud ki bhi nahi suntan’ got whistles every time it was heard, dialogues have become the highlight in Salman’s films. But now every line he utters is, sadly, intended to either shock or amuse. Like the one the superstar says to Jacqueline Fernandez in Kick: ‘Yeh jeena bhi koi jeena hai jismein kick na ho pagli’. Really, did it even make you chuckle?

Unbelievable stunts 

Of course, Salman’s stunts have evolved with each film. In Wanted he used the power of his fist to send ten bulkier goons flying in the air, in Kick he amplifies his might and is seen jumping off bridges, out of buildings and coolly crossing over a railway track that has a speeding train running on it. But with the rising of LTLHs, these daredevil stunts are becoming highly unbelievable and repetitive. Like some of the action sequences performed in Kick look like a mishmash of Ek Tha Tiger and Dhoom 3. Don’t you think so too?

Shirtless Salman

Haven’t we had more than enough glimpse of the original six-packer’s most-sort-after-asset? Has it changed drastically? Nope na! So, why is it compulsory to get rid of a well-fitted shirt to show-off some skin? To add to the woes, Salman’s antagonists in the movies (Sonu Sood, Haroon Qazi) too have indulged in such time-pass. Take a closer look at the Kick trailer – you will see SK flaunt his asset, once again. It’s nice to create awareness about fitness, but nowadays men over-obsess about chiseled mid-riff, and forget it takes a lot more to win hearts. In times of six-pack obsession, lean lads like Ranbir Kapoor and Imran Khan are a real pleasure on the eyes. How about Bhai gets whistles without taking off the silken shirt?

Heroine is always a prop!

Women, he seems to hold in high regard, personally. But when it comes to the reel-life ladies, most are offered to romance the Romeo in Salman and add glamour in the movie. We have seen it with everyone, from ex-girlfriend Katrina Kaif to current heroine Jacqueline Fernandez. And of course the ones who were in between like Sonakshi Sinha, Kareena Kapoor, Asin et al. They all have mostly shimmied on the dance floor, sung romantic ballads, donned designer garbs and spouted a few lines here and there. Why doesn’t SK take the onus of hiring writers to come-up with a script that gives equal leverage to the hero and heroine?

Don’t you think it’s time Salman Khan did away with the old masalas and sprinkled some new herbs to cook-up a yummier, tastier and zingier blockbuster?

– By Rachana Parekh

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